Thursday, March 23, 2006

Not my Fault, Part 212...

"Listen, every war plan looks good on paper until you meet the enemy."
-- President George W. Bush (AP)

Really? George Bush, Yale history major, tells us that every war plan looks good on paper. Has he not heard of:

  • Swedish King Charles XII’s invasion of Russia (hmm, take a seat at the table of Europe’s power brokers, or blow it all in a half baked invasion of Poland & Russia because you’re mad at their royal families. Hard call.)
  • Napoleon’s invasion of Russia (Supply lines? Who needs supply lines? It’s not like the Russians are famous for a “burn and retreat” defensive strategy…)
  • Hitler’s invasion of Russia (Who needs winter clothing on a march to Moscow? Does Russia get cold or something?)
  • The Maginot Line (I mean, the Germans couldn’t possibly DRIVE AROUND IT, right?)
  • Verdun, Gallipoli…pretty much all of WWI
  • The Charge of the Light Brigade (hint: when, as your cavalry charges directly into the enemy’s artillery, the enemy starts mowing you down while saying things like, “are those guys drunk? What the hell are they thinking,” you should entertain the notion that this plan probably didn't look so good on paper, either.)
  • Custer’s Last Stand (Really, who cares how many Indians there are? Just attack!)
  • Ancient Rome’s invasion of Germany under Augustus (Sure, when the German guy starts talking about this great shortcut he knows through a dark, muddy forest that no Roman has seen before and where your military advantage will be totally neutralized, you should definitely follow him. That doesn’t sound like a trap.)
  • The Crusades (most notably the Children’s Crusade. Unless you think it looks good on paper.)

But none of those sound like our war plan for Iraq, right? It's not like we sent too few guys, in without body and humvee armor, and then just expected that once Saddam had fallen that Iraq would pretty much spontaneously spring into a pluralistic peaceful democracy overnight?

Sure, George. Future military strategists are going to look at Iraq and say, "Yeah, but just look at this plan! It's not like anyone would have anticipated a plan this good would go horribly awry." Because, you know, there's no such thing as a war plan that looks bad on paper and a leader who's too stupid to see it.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You Americans are sooo critical of your presidents. Politicians aren't as clever as intellectuals, you know.

1:27 AM


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